Researchers Finally Develop Braille Porn

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Los Angeles, CA — A cooperative venture between Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and The Helen Keller Foundation has announced a new initiative to translate pornography into Braille in an effort to normalize the masturbation habits of the sight-impaired.

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The research, which is five years in the making, promises to open a whole new world to the sight-impaired once the technology is perfected.

"Normally two hands are used to read the raised dots on a Braille page," says Helen Keller Spokesman Brian Jennings. "But in order for Braille porn to be truly effective, we had the monumental task of figuring out how to make it a one-handed job."

The nonprofit organization, along with Lighthouse for the Blind, has attempted to transcribe everything from graffiti to Picasso paintings into Braille, but quickly realized the unusual challenge that accompanied depicting highly visual images of women in mostly depraved sexual acts.

"We spend years just trying to make the bumps on the page correlate with the bumps on her ass," Jennings said. "It's not like nipples. Those are easy."

Famed porn king Larry Flynt praised the hard work of the non-profits and promised once they remove the glitches, Braille porn will be every bit as titillating as the regular stuff.

“Pornography-induced self pleasure should not be limited only to the sighted,” Flynt said after accepting his Nobel Prize nomination for scientific achievement.

Added Flynt, "And just think, now you don't have to worry about going blind."
 

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